ATLien. Droppin nolege from tha south fo' ya'll. It may be weird, but it's all true.

Friday, May 13, 2005


Buying a car is not fun. Don't believe that hype. I got my car new as a gift in 1998. Base everything. Power nothing. I saw it roll to 98,000 miles today. So last week I was at this place called Gwinnett Suzuki. I mean, I should know better than to go to a Suzuki dealership for a used car. Who is going to trade their car in for a Suzuki? Why? Turns out they buy a lot of those cars at auctions. The salesman had a Mercedes Benz medallion, only 9 fingers, referred to me as "my bruthaa." Hey, fuck you buddy. When my friends say that shit, I want to punch them. Don't act like we're pals. Tell me about the car and lay out your initial offer.

I took out an Audi A6 for the night to test it out. It is a pretty sweet ride, but not quite as reliable as I want. I dreaded going back to this place. I saw Bernard and he yawned twice as he walked towards me. I wanted to take out the Lexus ES300 again so we hopped in. What a goddamn MORAN! He called the Lexus an Acura the whole time, yawned a dozen times, and I saw him with his eyes closed. Fuck you Bernard and fuck your Suzukis. I hope they roll over on you. The reason I need a new car is the pimpfire needs to move on. Her A/C is gone and the heat of the Atlanta summers are too much for ole' nolege. I completely sweated through my shirt this week when I was calling on customers.

So, I think I'm going to go with an Acura 3.2TL or Infinity I30. I've never had power locks much less leather seats so this will be nice. May whoever inherits the pimpfire be endowed with the luck that she has granted me.
Here are the names of all the cars I have owned:

Bitch-1988 White Chevy Astrovan
Rocket-1988 Silver Subaru XT
Doo Doo Brown-1985 Brown Subaru Justy
Silver Bullet-1988 Grey Chrysler LeBaron Convertabile
Oatmeal-1981 Cream Pontiac Station Wagon
The Bull-1990 Silver Ford Taurus
Pimpfire- 1998 Pontiac Sunfire


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